Okabie Obunezi Sissel
At one point in our lives we sit to make these decisions: should or should we not. Some of the thoughts of these decisions are influences from our parents peer groups and the society in which we live in.
We all have a life that is “suppose” to be our own living, without the influences of anything external but with everything internal. But today we see that, it is almost impossible because we all thrive towards one thing, the end result, the goal at the end of the day, the aftermath reality, when al is being is said and done.
At every point in time of every phase of life we have evolved in and out of, there are always routes that demand we follow them, at times one, most time two that you must choose the one to follow.
As a child who begins to know good from evil, you are always spanked when you tell lies, take meat from the pot without asking, running away from class lessons, going to the friend’s, your parent or guardian has warned against, not sitting down to read for exams and many more. The only choice available for you to follow is that the instructions given by the older ones to be good and good alone.
At this stage of life it is actually an easy tell because you just have one positive or negative route to take –goo or bad; which at the long run, it always favors to choose good than bad because of the maltreatment and punishments it attracts.
Peer pressure comes crashing when you are the only girl who do not get to bring “a boy gist” to the hostel, class room or to your group of friends, when you have not “toasted” any girl before and your peers get to mock you and call you all the names, then you have to choose the kind of friends to walk with , talk with or read with. All these little, unthought-of decisions are the molecules adding up to make up your personality.
Reality hits you when the “big decisions” of life needs to be made at tha stage, you are either in your early twenties or on the ladder out of the adult age 18. At this point the career you want to run with for the rest of your life, the kind of home you want to have, the kind of company you keep and gather until this age and how it would affect you in the long and short run. Any careless decisions you made or make as a teenager manifests at this adult atsage, it could be the healing, correction, hurt or gathered experiences with no effect.
Everything that has happened in your life as child or teenager has an impact in this stage, shaping your mode of conducts and living with an everlasting glaring or light mark.
The risky thing about this phase of life is, it doesn’t make it easy by giving you bad or good to choose directly,. It comes in more teasing categories: good very good bad or lesser evil. In other to make the right selection of the route to follow in life you need to have had solid foundations as to what you want, why you want it and what you stand for or believe in. in other to make choices the lines are no longer straight or sharp but blurry.
In the peak of our energy, strength-beauty we almost want to try everything as if life is trial and error. We decide to take a particular thing or route without a solid affirmation as to why this stand was chosen. Because in the long run this helps us stand or crumble. You can fill a JAMB form without properly having view of what you want to study or because everybody is in a relationship you want to have one or dress in a particular manner that makes every fibre of your being wail because that is what is in vogue.
This is the place where the right solid foundation which you laid before this risky phase of your life begins to hold you strong. In the midst of the confusion, pressure, humiliation, indecisiveness, carelessness, mockery, emotional rush. A solid foundation is what keeps you going because if the foundation be faulty how it would it hold the rest blocks of life that would be laid to build a strong house which would stand forever or crumble after a period of time.
So why gamble, life is not a game that you throw in the cards to see if your card is the winning card or not. Set the priorities right and straight, make sure the ground you stand on to make any decision is truly solid, because it is always attach to what you believe and stand for.